One month ago today, I dislocated my shoulder at the top of Mount Prevost. It was pouring at the time but I had Saucony Trail running shoes so what could go wrong? Two hours later I was in emergency trying to explain my badass actions to the unimpressed doctors and nurses. They knocked me out, popped my shoulder back in and within an hour I was sent home to reflect on my life choices.
The recovery time is 6 weeks. Then another 6 weeks to get strength and flexibility back. Three months is a long time to not kick it with my Monkey Bar Gym crew. Stand on top of Mount Prevost. Fight in the UFC. The first week was the worst. At night, I struggled to sleep. During the day, I struggled to stay positive. When it first happened, my friends and family had said with concern in their eyes, “You can’t do anything for 6 weeks? You’re going to go insane.” I laughed. Said I’d be fine.
Waking up early this morning, I brewed my coffee and sat down ready to launch into my morning ritual of TSN and Social Media. But something stopped me. I picked up Brene Brown’s book Rising Strong instead. If you’ve listened to even one episode of the podcast, you’ve probably heard us talk about Brene. She is Ms. Invulnerable. Ms. Get Your Shit Together. Ms. Stop Making Excuses.
Within minutes of reading familiar passages, the tears began to come. Son of a…! This is why I choose TSN. But this morning I stayed with Brene.. Here’s what she said:
“You may not have signed up for a hero’s journey, but the second you fell down, got your butt kicked, suffered a disappointment (or dislocation?), screwed up or felt your heart break, it started. It doesn’t matter if we are ready for an emotional adventure – hurt happens. And it happens to every single one of us, without exception.” – Rising Strong
In my experience, tears flow from a place of truth. Of a deep knowing. In an instant, I knew I had opted out this month. Became a victim. Chose the sidelines instead of the race. A slow creep had become a fast habit and I had abandoned the obstacle course. This is not who I am.
Shouldn’t the host of Obstacle Course Podcast know better? Brene and Andrew would say, “you do know better, you just forgot.” I blame Propofol. Sigh, no… I blame myself. So what, now?
I Rise Up.
No more Social Media and TSN to start the day. No more avoiding exercise because I can’t do it to the level I want. No more binging on crap to dull the pain. No more anger and anxiety towards a slow healing process. No more hurting my family with my hurt. No more opting out and lame excuses.
So I stand. One arm raised. 😉 And begin again.